Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Father..I Love You (:

i was browsing many blogs of pbb girls randomly just now when i sat delia's and joleen's blogs.they were so meaningful to me. it reminded my of God's love and my parents love for me. i feel so guilty for not committing everything unto the Lord. im trying to do everything with my own strength and capabilities and with all these happening. i forsake my Father -my Daddy who loves my so much, who is with me all the time everywhere i go. i ask favour from Him when i need Him but forget to thank Him after i receive my blessings from Him. i depended so much on my myself that i've forgotten abt Him. [sorry Father..im really sorry for not being close to u..studying is just an excuse..an unpardonable excuse that i gave..sorry dear Daddy...]

My other needs and what i want will be provided by my God. so i need not worry=]

We all always say we should accept ourselves for who we really are and not pretend to be someone else but let's face it-we all have someone whom we really wish we were. We all are unhappy with ourselves in one way or another which is why we work hard and strive. I wish I could redeem myself by doing better in my last year in rgs, but sadly, I have already finished my eyas and therte's nothing much I can do, I didn't make it for pbb, which led to me not making it for OP, and my performance at house and congress was mediocre to say the least, and I'm lazy and unmotivated, I'm easily stressed, and even my friends have to put up with my bottled up emotions, how I get angry so easily, my inferiority complex and insecurities.I dont know if I can ever forgive myself for all these things I am, sometimes.

look at the difference betweeen the 2..one with God, the other more on herself. who is more positive towards life? obviously joleen. therefore, i promise to make it a point to pray and thank God for everything i have in life and to really depend on Him like how Joleen did. she is another role model of mine but ultimately, it's God that i wanna follow and to be a christ-like person. i do not know how ppl will think of me but i would really wanna redeem myself thru all the sins i've done by studying as hard as i can and not regret. i wanna live each day with God'd wisdom and strength that overwhelms me daily. i thank you Father that i realise this today. Daddy forgive me. im going to commit everything unto the Lord and not worry anymore, for this is what i should be doing from the day i say i trust the Lord.

i wanna thank God for bringing me to browse thru the various blogs to allow me to realise all these that i have forgotten due all the work i have currently. i love you Father. Amen (:

always remembered, 12:22 AM